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The Scarlet Harlot

Madam Zarine's Ramblings

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Welcome to my Unsolicited Opinion

Hello Denizens of the Realms, and welcome to my little corner of the world and this wonderful semi weekly newsletter for your enjoyment! Look for exciting event reviews, opinion pieces, fashion advice, gossip, and much more! I will try to make a general announcement to the Realms weekly with an update of the wonders that would await you should you chose to come visit. If you have any specific topics you would like covered, questions you would like answered, or people you would like mocked, please drop me a message here at Alchimia Lupinaar and I will process your request when I damn well feel like it. Enjoy!

The Weekend Report

Nedengiving 1018


I am a little late on this review, and for that I apologize. I have been quite busy of late with holiday planning and general laziness, but I would be quite remiss if I didn't provide a proper report of my most recent trip to Neden.

Last years trip to Neden's annual holiday feast was filled with good food, good friends, and poorly plated 'sauce'. This year, the food once again did not disappoint, I was in the company of decent acquaintances, and I was presented with my very own poorly plated 'sauce'. Was is worth the trip? Well my dears, let me tell you, it was.

The feast hall was warm and inviting, and though I personally brought my own feasting set and centerpieces, they had some very lovely (if garishly colored) place settings for those less fortunate who can't afford their own. I would like to personally thank Priest Z for not placing any of the more terribly colored plates at my table, that was very thoughtful of him.

The carnival games were, as always, well run and much fun for all ages. I personally enjoyed Plinko and the Can Tower, but my favorite moment at the games area was watching a young Dani Danger repeatedly make the ball toss with the 'easy deflated ball', get asked if she would like to try the harder ball, and then proceed to make the shot with that one as well. Proof that children don't need things made easier for them by well meaning adults.

Speaking of children, I was very honored to help judge the gingerbread house competition. One of the houses had some questionable, uh, door knockers, and thankfully Lord Syruss was able to convey the importance of discretion to me before I innuendoed when I shouldn't. Tristan won with his very beautiful house that he made all by himself, so congratulations to him. I am still slightly upset that I wasn't allowed to enter the competition, but judging small children and their interesting interpretations of houses was almost as satisfying.

The tour of the Nedsonian was very informative and now I am filled with a jealous rage that they possess a magical mirror that is incredibly mean spirited and cruel to people. Why don't I have one of those? Yule is coming up plebs, if you ever wanted to know what to get me for a gift, this is it.

The food was amazing as always. The bacon mac and cheese was so good, as well as the meatball lasagna and the regular meatballs. Really, any meat that resembles balls is usually pretty good, but they really seem to have a good grasp of how to handle such a delicacy in the fine Nation of Neden. The cranberry sauce presented for public consumption was plated much more nicely than last year and I am glad to see that their fine chef can take good advice when he sees it.

While we are on the subject of disgusting sauces, my personal sauce was presented on a very lovely platter and was retaining it's ribbed shape quite well, though I can promise you it did not provide me with any pleasure. They sang me a very entertaining song, though the words were a bit hard to make out amidst the offkey and out of sync silliness, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Really I was just happy to have a song and not find myself covered in cranberry sauce for my transgressions last year. I was bullied into putting some of the slimy, nasty substance in my mouth, which I usually charge exorbitant fee for by the way so don't get used to me doing it for free. Then I had the displeasure of watching Jack devour the whole tubular monstrosity, and now I am really concerned about what sort of mental illnesses run in families in Redwall.

Overall, I had an excellent time, and shame on all of the folks who didn't come to such an fantastic event where you had such a wonderful opportunity to spend time with me and all of the other thankful revelers. Thank you, Neden, for once again providing us with a bountiful and delicious feast.

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