The Weekend Report

Feast of The Leviathan XXV

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, but new year old me. I’ve dusted off my typewriter to bring you the important news and opinions of all the goings on in The Realms in the way that only I can. Brilliantly and sarcastically. 

So let’s talk about Leviathan, shall we? I was late, as fashionable people often are, so I missed much of the day. Well, missed is a strong word. I did hear that there were some fabulous appetizers that I did not get to partake of, so I suppose I did miss that. Appetizers are always the best part of Leviathan’s food offerings. I used to try not to fill up on them so I would still be hungry for the main course, but the main course is truly never as good as the day board so now I fill up on all the early offerings that I can. I was fortunate to be able to try both the spinach artichoke and barbeque chicken crostini and they were both excellent. I was a bit concerned about the chicken as it was on a bed of coleslaw, but the odd combination worked well. I also had the ham and swiss dinner roll bombs with the honey mustard dip and that was amazing. But the piece de resistance was the loaded hash brown. Potato, bacon, cheese, sour cream… what wasn’t to like other that I didn’t get to eat like a hundred of them? 

There were many ‘Historic Rhiassans’ there, which is just a nice way to say ‘really old people.’ But I suppose saying ‘hey, we’ll have elderly people’ doesn’t have the same draw as appealing to people’s quest for barely living history. It was good to see some familiar old faces, it helped balance out all the new young faces and made me feel more average aged. 

There was a bar offering both hot and cold non alcoholic beverages which was great because I required coffee. The coffee itself was quite good for something that came from a pod labeled ‘great value’. But, guess what my loves; there was no cream! And not because they ran out, but because they never had any! You know who drinks coffee without cream? Psychopaths. Is Rhiassa full of psychopaths? Is this why violence is always expected at their famous feast? Perhaps your guests would be less inclined towards violence if they were full of cream? Are you short of cows? Perhaps Chimeron could help with that. They’ll even throw in a silly hat. 

Dinner was the usual affair. The meal itself had its ups and downs and seemed to depend greatly on which table you were at. The kitchen staff worked hard to come up with and execute the menu and nothing was bad, just the hors d'oeuvres were so much better than the main course. The simpler the meal the better it is received by the people. The people want more meat and cheese on a piece of wood. Soft breads with spreads. Dippables. Tacos. Dumplings. Meatballs. Speaking of executing the menu, Shandar ripped up our paper airplanes because he hates fun. 

Another reason to consider more of an appetizer spread; dinner during court. People trying to eat, listen, socialize, watch, present, clap, heckle, accept awards… that’s a lot of things to do all at once and it would be much easier with foods you can just grab and eat. So often the main courses get cold by the time people start eating them. The other option of course is to stop doing court over dinner which is actually my preferred option, and I hear many others say the same. Perhaps dinner, then court, then dessert would be better? People actually want to enjoy every part of the event, just not all at once! Though I will say the table set up was much better this year, it was easier to see everything and to move around and there seemed to actually be room for everyone. 

On to dessert, the lemon and berry trifle. Light, fluffy, flavorful, and absolutely amazing. My only complaint was that there wasn’t more of it. We devoured the one bowl our table got rather quickly and to tell the truth I could have eaten a whole bowl by myself. I had those calories I saved during the Great Cream Shortage of 1024 burning a hole in my stomach, after all. 

All that’s left to speak of are the View Awards. I enjoyed the new style of presenting them very much. Besides how much time it saved, it also honored the person and not the category which is a great shift. I think a change in the nomination and voting process was needed and I am hoping it will continue to change as necessary. However I feel you should at least need a certain number of nominations to make the cut, which would stop people from just nominating themselves to make themselves look good and keep the ballot a bit cleaner. I also think we should consider consolidating some categories since most events don’t fall into one classification anymore. You can’t be a feast event and a non feast event… that’s not how it works. So maybe instead of having eight categories for food we should just have ‘event with the best food’ and ‘best overall dish’. Make up new categories to take their place, like ‘snarkiest madam’, ‘best article in a non view publication’, and ‘best photo of the back of Zarine’s head.’ 

I am not even going to address the ‘everyone is equal’ thing. I think we all know how I feel about that and nothing I am going to say is going to win me friends. Suffice it to say that I am equal to no one and neither are you, dear reader. 

And so another Leviathan came to a close. And with very little bloodshed, though again, I was late. Perhaps I missed it. I suppose I shall have to try to arrive earlier next year, you know, for the blood. And olives.