The Weekend Report

Carnage 22

The Green Mountain Militia shows off their spoils.

This is an interesting one to write for you all. Last weekend I had the privilege to accompany Trent, along with a few others, to represent The Realms at a sort of 'extraplanar exhibit'. Before you pick on my choice of descriptor, know that I poured through every dictionary and thesaurus in my library to try and find the correct term for such an odd gathering of souls and that was the best I could do. If you think you could do better, I highly encourage you to bug off and try to write your own successful semiweekly newsletter. Anyway, back to my opinion on these bizarre otherworlders. They were, well, bizarre. They wore ghastly clothes, and spoke about very strange things. Most of them were playing these odd sort of tavern games, not unlike some of the ones that Toah often brings around. Some of these seemed to be brand new and being play tested by the guests, others seemed like old favorites. Vendors were available to purchase these and other games and goods.

Envoys from other planes, which included us, were there to try and entice the prospective interdimensional travelers to visit their weird place instead of those other weirdo's weird places. We were instructed to set up in a room with a couple of groups from similar worlds to our own. One of these was the fabled lands to the north, Bicolline, which Sir Sean never seems to stop speaking about and was there to represent with a few others. The other was a place called Cinderfel which seemed to be part of a bigger society on their home plane. We of course knew the representatives from Bicolline, and the delegates from Cinderfel were very kind and we spent much time speaking to them about the differences in our magic, gods, cultures, etc.

I wasn't the only one fascinated by the Gentleman Elf.

After we gathered the folks interested in visiting The Realms, we should first have had them examined to make sure they were mentally sound. Instead we decided to completely overlook the fact that they made the thoroughly insane decision to visit our lands and taught them how to make weapons, access our magics, and invited them to join the Green Mountain Militia. Now, now, don't look at me like that, because next we did the totally responsible thing and taught them how to use those new tools by holding a practice and small tournament. Well, I mean, other people did that. I was distracted by the cordial and congenial gentleman elf from Cinderfel.

Proof that the Candy Merchant was, in fact, 'awesome looking'. Oh, and the adventurers looked pretty menacing too.

I had an obligation at another engagement later that evening, so I was unable to attend the later portion of the gathering. I am told that a candy merchant was in distress and that she implored the services of the new recruits of the Green Mountain Militia to help get her merchandise back from some goblins who had robbed her. I'm quite glad that I wasn't present for this, I'd likely have had flashbacks to that horrid performance at the jesters competition at Queen of Hearts. I did hear that the merchant was quite beautiful and well spoken, though I also hear that the goblins accused her of liking chartreuse so the reports seem to be mixed I am afraid.

In the end, the Militia proved to be more competent than I would have thought and they managed to rescue the merchant's chest full of candy as well as her assistant and get back to the warmth and safety of the convention hall. The merchant gave them her lantern and the candy as a reward and everyone was happy. Will we ever see these new faces in the Realms? We'll have to just wait and see. But either way, some kids had fun stabbing goblins and eating candy and that's what's really important.