The Weekend Report

Nedengiving

Could I get anymore basic?

Once again Neden put on it's annual feast, and once again I attended. I am not entirely sure why I subject myself to the constant barrage of cranberry sauce and it's related jokes, but clearly it's worth it or I wouldn't keep coming back for more.

First of all, the entire event is held for charity. Feeding military veterans in need is indeed a worthy cause and Neden scores a lot of points in my book for doing so. Helping others should be it's own reward, but let's face it, it's not. Thankfully Neden seems to understand this and they gave you a chance to win fantastic prizes for donating.

The carnival was present and a fun time for all. It unfortunately came with some horrendous music that some jerk paid them to play louder. Eventually the music seemed to disappear and I can only assume that the offending accordion player was struck by an errant arrow. If you find the owner of that arrow send them my way; I owe them an evening of the utmost pleasure.

There was a poker game which I may have been entertaining at but certainly not competent ,I am afraid. Of course, getting out early I was able to socialize more and find out what was going on with all of the potatoes. Yes, there were potatoes set out by our dear feathered friend, Gooserus. Apparently if you gave them to Meatball you got more chances at prizes. My friends clearly didn't give a damn about prizes, for I kept finding the potatoes everywhere. In my purse, on my food, in my tea cup, in my jewelry box... Months from now if I find rotting potatoes somewhere in my trunk, I will not be surprised. And no, that's not just a normal Tuesday for me, thanks for asking.

The food was presented differently this year than in the past. We were waited on by (seemingly confused) servers and we ordered from a menu. Now, I know that you probably all assume that I enjoy being waited on, and I do, but not in this case. At gatherings such as these I actually prefer a buffet or family style. I like to try a bit of everything, for reasons, and instead I was stuck with too much ham and no ziti.

Speaking of the ham: STOP PUTTING PINEAPPLE ON THINGS!

Other than the above complaint, the food itself was quite good. 'JB's Mystery Meatballs', while no Blackwood Meatballs, were still delightful. The 'greens and cheese soup' that I had for the first course was very good, much to my surprise. For the second course we had our choice of Mac & Cheese and I had the 'fire drake', which while spicy was also delicious. The ham was ham. Nothing special, but palatable. I didn't try any of the sides, as I was saving room for dessert.

The menu was a bit of a problem. Need I remind you, dear Lords of Neden, that some of us aren't as young as we used to be, and the tiny green on black print was impossible to read. I literally witnessed some older gentlemen having the menu read to them, and I had to use my magnifying glass for the first time that wasn't just for dramatic effect. I am used to looking at very small objects, but this was really unnecessarily small. Except the words 'cranberry sauce', those were written in larger and bolder font for some unholy reason.

Literally. Can't. Even.

And speaking of Cranberry Sauce, it has come to my attention that Gooserus had a list of 'tasks' to perform for raffle tickets, one of which was serving me the detestable gelatin. Supposedly there were extra tickets involved if I actually ate the slop, which I am proud to say I denied everyone the pleasure of receiving. I'll tell you were you can stick that loathsome goop, and it's not on a paper plate.

I was honored that Lord Syruss asked me to judge the dessert completion. I did get a bit of a talking to because apparently I was taking too long savoring them and not just tasting them and moving on. Not something anyone has ever complained about before, but I digress. All of the desserts were divine, and choosing one was not the easiest of tasks, but when push came to shove and I needed to decide, I went with the one with alcohol. So congratulations to Sir Shean for having the tastiest balls.

I was most excited this year for the Limerick competition, and I was not disappointed. Well, that's not entirely true. I do wish more people had participated as it was the most enjoyable part of the day. Made more enjoyable of course by the fact that I won. Winning always elevates competitions in my book of favorites. I'll even include my winning limerick here for your reading pleasure.

This Madam came here to talk

About all of the things I can mock

I'll give you a lashin'

About your poor fashion

But I'll never be a peacock

I hope to see you all next year with your cans and limericks!