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The Scarlet Harlot

Madam Zarine's Ramblings

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Welcome to my Unsolicited Opinion

Hello Denizens of the Realms, and welcome to my little corner of the world and this wonderful semi weekly newsletter for your enjoyment! Look for exciting event reviews, opinion pieces, fashion advice, gossip, and much more! I will try to make a general announcement to the Realms weekly with an update of the wonders that would await you should you chose to come visit. If you have any specific topics you would like covered, questions you would like answered, or people you would like mocked, please drop me a message here at Alchimia Lupinaar and I will process your request when I damn well feel like it. Enjoy!

The Weekend Report


The tables literally looked nothing like this

Feast of Creathorne

or – Why We Hate Eamon

This weekend I traveled to the lands of Creathorne for their famous feast. I have never gotten to attend before as I have always been far too busy on Saturdays, but recent additions to my staff at Alchimia Lupinaar have allowed me a bit more freedom on the weekends, so I was quite excited to see what all the fuss was about.

The quality of the company was somewhat mixed. There seemed to be some kind of fuss about powering portals with these triangular shaped objects that folks found in the woods. I don't really know much about it, other than the fact that Thoril went off to get me tea and never returned because this whole hullabaloo 'distracted him'. As if anything could be more important than getting me my tea... Fortunately, Piper understands the importance of pleasing a lady and graciously retrieved a steeped beverage for me. If only Piper enjoyed the company of women, his eagerness to please coupled with the fact that he can't speak would make him the perfect male companion. But alas, I am stuck with options like Thoril who forget about you as soon as their eyes alight on something else, or Avendar who implied that I would make a table setting less pleasing by sitting at it.

The food was good, though not as exciting as I had anticipated. The venison stew was delicious and my favorite of all the provided fare. The buffalo chicken dip was also quite good, though it lost some points due to not really having a good pairing. You need something to scoop dip with, something to transport the deliciousness to your mouth. There were some bread products which ended up filling that position, but I would have preferred chips of some sort. The rest of the food was alright, but honestly I am quite hard to please as I am really quite particular about what I put into my mouth, despite what you may have heard about me. So really, if I say the food is alright, that's actually quite a compliment to the chef.

There wasn't much in the way of entertainment if you didn't wish to trudge through the snow looking for more of those portal pieces, or at least I assume that's what the rabble was doing, unless of course you wanted to gamble, which I did. And now we get the answer to the ever important question; why would anyone hate Eamon? Oh yes, he seems like a sweet, innocent young man... until he's taking all of your money while dealing you the worst hands in blackjack ever. I'm not used to handing my money over to someone else for sub par entertainment, nor am I a supporter of such a practice. When people leave my establishment their pockets are lighter yes, but they leave satisfied. Eamon's services were certainly not satisfying and I walked away from the table with quite a sour taste in my mouth, which is never a good thing let me assure you. He tried to make us all feel better by being 'nice' and 'friendly', but he wasn't fooling anyone as he cackled maniacally whenever he took our money away. Okay, so maybe it was less of a maniacal cackle and more of a shy apology, but that makes him sound almost forgivable, and I am not quite ready to go there yet.

After losing at that particular debacle of a table, I watched a myriad of plebs lose at Let it Ride, which sounds like a really fine time and not unlike a similar service that I provide at my place. It seemed to be a game where you ever so slowly lose your money, not unlike taking all afternoon to slowly and painfully bleed to death, which again reminds me of a similar service I provide. I don't remember where I was going with this, but next time you find yourself in Invictus come on in and slowly lose your money in a far more enjoyable game where everyone wins in the end.

The poker table treated me much better than the blackjack table. I got third place. I mean, yes it was on a technicality that I got third over fourth, but it says third on the paper, so I'll take it and the points that go with it. The company there was enjoyable and I am glad that I participated. I hope to engage in more of these tournaments in the future.

Overall I had a decent day. Being there more or less alone I got to spend some time with folks that I don't always get an opportunity to speak to. Some of them I'd like to continue spending time with, and others I could quite frankly go back to not speaking to. I'll let you ponder which category you fall into. I don't believe that I will have the opportunity to attend another gathering for quite some time, the bath house gets quite busy going into the long cold stretch at the end of winter, so you can all relax for a bit as I won't there to spill the tea about the quality of your tea... which we are spilling purposely because the quality is poor you cheap bastards.

Until next time, plebs.

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