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Feast of Teng Hua – Part Two: The Food
Last week, I regaled you with my recounting of the pre-feast happenings during our journey to Teng Hua. That was all well and good, and I am sure that you enjoyed it immensely, but that was not even close to the best part of the weekend. Like any good writer (which I am by the way, I've won awards) I have saved the best for last; the food!
After the exciting lectures and game tutorials of the earlier part of the day, we were told we had ten minutes to get our affairs in order before dinner. This sounded ominous, and even though we all were quite worried that we ourselves were about to be dinner and that we'd never again return to our homes and loved ones, we were clearly not keen on actually doing anything about it except to make really dull jokes at our own expense.
After about seven minutes or so, even though we were indubitably promised ten, we were gathered to begin the processional to the feast hall. We were led down a set of stair that reminded me very much of descending into a dungeon, which got me far more excited than one might imagine, and I was once again reminded how much I enjoy wearing shoes because the stone floor was quite cold. In fact, the whole underground hall was quite chilly. I have often wondered why dungeons, an area where people are so often devoid of their clothing, are never properly heated.
We were shown to our seats, as this was an assigned seating affair. We spent some time trying to determine the significance of the seating arrangement, but we never really came to any conclusion, other than the fact that surely the invisible man between Tao and I wasn't going to be needing his sake. There were quite a few empty seats, which seemed a bit odd for a feast with a pretty clear guest list, but perhaps some people got lost on the way. I get lost in my own house, so who am I to judge. Seated across from me were Kovaks and Aymise, and it was very pleasurable getting to know them a bit better, which came as quite the surprise to even myself. Daekara was seated next to me, which made it far easier for him to pour my tea and serve my food incorrectly all evening.
Overall I was quite happy with the seating, until Eldritch arrived. I cannot even begin to describe the horror of what he was wearing. It was just... unspeakable really. I have nightmares. And daymares. But I can stop thinking about it and block it out whenever I want. The monstrosity that was that visually offensive ensemble holds no power over me. None at all. I can totally and completely move on from it. Maybe. Ok, probably not. Like, not ever. But I digress.
Now, onto the best part of the day: the food! The food was absolutely amazing. I was not sure how I would like Teng Huanese cuisine, but after this small sampling I cannot wait to have more. We began with pork belly skewers, Teng Huanese pickles, and seaweed salad which were all delicious. Then came steamed buns with a hoisin chicken filling and shrimp dumplings which were my two favorites of the day. The sauce for the dumplings was a bit too spicy for my tastes, but fortunately the ginger sauce that came with the skewers was so amazing that we pretty much just put that on everything.
We were then served cold soba noodles with a mushroom and leek dashi broth. This was of course delicious like everything else. But I have... complaints. It was explained to us that the noodles were not fully cooked and that to cook them we would put them in the broth. I am not a fan of cooking my own food, nor am I usually allowed to (read my 'Pleb Life' adventures into cooking in case you've forgotten). So already I was a bit annoyed. The noodles were served first on community platters. I think the servant who brought them could sense my annoyance. He looked kind of like a scared rabbit. But I waited patiently for the broth to come. And come it did: IN BLOODY PAPER BOWLS. Paper. Bowls. Bowls. Made of paper. Hot broth. Hot enough to cook noodles. Passed across the table in a flimsy crock I wouldn't even want something as innocuous as cranberry sauce in. It was enough to make me momentarily forget about Eldritch's horrid accoutrements. Though a moment later I did wondered if we spilled it on him if it might dissolve the very threads which held the eyesore together. My disappointment in the dinnerware aside, the noodles were really quite good and almost made up for the plating. Almost.
The main course was sort of a 'make your own fajita' type of affair, but with lettuce wraps instead of a tortilla. We were given both beef bulgogi and thai spiced chicken which were equally fabulous options to place inside of the food that food eats with the other fillings,which was also a lot of food that other food eats. For desert we started with dango, which was some kind of rice pastry I believe, and also clearly the food of the gods because we could not get enough of it. This was followed by shabuya toast and of course fortune cookies.
We were given sake throughout, as well as tea, and you all know how I love my tea... and alcohol. The Emperor did an offering to the ancestors, and we were told an intriguing creation story that made us wonder about building codes in Teng Hua. Gifts were exchanged, and we all enjoyed each others company. Lots of topics were discussed and even more food consumed. Overall, it was a very delicious and pleasant day and I hope that I have the pleasure of being invited to Teng Hua again in the future. I even know what I will bring as my gift.
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