Fancy That

If you were to croak, is that really the outfit you want to be wearing?

Finding Your Fashion

Recently I have had a few Fashion Virgins ask me for advice, and we have had difficulties finding the time to sit and talk. I am sure that they think that I have been purposefully avoiding them, but I promise you that is not the case. I love helping the fashionably dense expand their horizons. It literally pains me to see you all so blissfully unaware of how awful you look, so when someone has an epiphany and comes to me for help I truly wish to nurture that kind of self awareness.

The road to fashion isn't a sprint, it's journey, and all journeys need to start at the beginning. There is a reason so many stories start with 'in the beginning there was darkness', and it's not just because it sounds really marvelous and frightening. I'm sure you are expecting me to say something really deep about 'fumbling in the dark' and how it molds and shapes us into who we are and blah blah blah. But no, seriously, light a candle or something because you all look like you got dressed in the dark.

The road to fashion enlightenment is also very personal. No two people's journeys will be the same. But that doesn't mean that I can't still help you on your style pilgrimage, just that I cannot do all the work for you. The start of this quest is mostly self reflection and realization, and really that needs to be done in one's own head. I can ask you the right questions and offer you guidance to get you there though, which is what I will be doing in this segment of my new series focusing on helping the wayward frumps of The Realms adopt a better appearance and sense of style. I'd like to say this will be a three part series, but it could turn into more if necessary, or I could just get bored and never write another one. So really, let's just call it 'a series of questionable length', which in unrelated news is also what I call my Wednesday nights.

The first question I like to ask my novices is who they are, and not just because I forgot their name. Style needs to come from the heart or it will never look good on you no matter how vogue it is. Fashion is an outward expression on your inner self, and therefore unconditionally personal. Now, if we are close, I can likely give you more of an idea of what your personal style is inclined to be. But let's face it, I'm not close to very many people, and even those to whom I am present to me as clueless at best.

Once you ponder who you are, which may take some time, let's take that new found inner wisdom and apply it to your exterior. How you present yourself is the first impression that others have of you, and even after they get to know you we tend to be very visual creatures and have a hard time disconnecting what we see from what we know. For instance, I might know that you are a clever young man with a propensity for hard work and good sense, but your clothes are still telling me that you are a hopeless moron with no regards to my delicate sensibilities. So now that you know who you are, what do you want to tell the world? How do you want them to see you? What impression do you want to leave? You attract what you display, so what do you want to attract?

Oh, and don't worry if your journey of self discovery resulted in realizing you're an awful person and not at all who you thought you were. I am told, by a reputable therapist, that this is normal and part of some journey, or something. Anyways, it's totally alright to have your outward appearance lie about your inner self. Turns out if you look at that version of yourself in the mirror enough, you develop something that same therapist calls 'delusions'. I'm not quite sure what she means by that, but I am going to just assume it's a good thing and carry on with my life.

So, my dears, if you wish to better your outward presentation to the world, please ponder these questions and carefully consider the answers. When next I write another segment, we'll expound upon this line of thinking and get into some serious and more practical advice that you should be able to start using right away. So until next time, plebs!