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Yule Be Needing This Advice
Ah Yule, such a wonderful time when families and friends get together to celebrate.. uh, something. Honestly, I have no idea why we celebrate winter's arrival with so much gusto, but we do. There are gifts and food and joy and children running about shrieking about a gift that came from the sky for all they know as they seem incapable of reading the gift tags. Yes, it's a truly a fantastic time of year where your racist Aunt Martha can sit next to your vegan cousin Brian in relative peace, at least before too much eggnog has been consumed anyways.
You might think that everyone is happy, healthy and full of yule spirit this time of year, but dear reader, you must know that there are people who do not appreciate your unbridled merriment and joy being hoisted upon them like soup broth to a sick person. There are many folks who are alone during the yuletide season, either by chance or by choice, and these souls need to be dealt with delicately. People in fragile mental states don't need you barging into their lives like a rampaging bull at any time of year, but especially around the holidays which often exacerbate feelings of loneliness, depression, and loss.
So how do you help out the lonely plebs of the Realms who seem destined and determined to be alone at such an inopportune time? Fortunately for you I happen to be somewhat of an expert on the subject. 'But Zarine,' you are surely thinking, 'what would you know about being alone?'. Well, my dears, you would be surprised just how much I know about it. Oh, sure, I hosted a very lovely Yule party a few weeks ago where I was surrounded by friends, but on the eve of Yule proper I found myself alone. Quite ironic how one who makes her living keeping people warm at night finds herself alone on the longest night of the year, is it not? Allow me to share my story with you all of how I was alone, and how a group of cheerful revelers brought me the gifts of comfort and joy.
Since Yule is a time to be with loved ones, I close my doors on that night and send my staff off to be with their own families and loved ones. However, I have quite a few folks in my employ who are largely alone in the world and stay behind. They found themselves drawn together by their individual yet strikingly similar circumstance and they used the remnants of my Yule party in the Carriage House to throw their own gathering. In an effort not to turn into an old curmudgeon, I grabbed a bottle of my best wine and trudged out there to join them. They were having a truly festive time, and I watched them for a bit like a creepy stalker before one of the stable boys saw me and dragged me in and announced to the room that I had come to join them.
Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt like you don't belong there, dear reader? I have never seen a group full of such noisy merriment grow silent and still so quickly. It was clear that I had made them uncomfortable. They were having a good time at work and their boss walked in. I hadn't any intentions of joining them as their employer but as their friend, but it can be hard to separate business and pleasure sometimes. I quickly changed course, told them that I had come to bring them some wine, and left. I felt a bit of a coward running away from my own employees in my own carriage house, but that's what I did.
Once back in the house proper I decided to do what I had planned on doing all along, before my delusions of extrovertedness; I curled up in front of the fire in my library with a good book and my favorite feline companion, Legionnaire Daniel. The quiet of a huge, empty house can be oddly comforting, and I settled in for a night of losing myself in someone else's world through the wonder of the printed word.
It was not long before I distinctly heard a ruckus in the front hall and the whole gaggle of rowdy revelers came pouring into my library. My peace and quiet suddenly scattered to the wind, and Legionnaire Daniel quite suddenly woken from his peaceful slumber, they paraded themselves into my little haven of solitude. They sent poor Clara forward to be their spokesperson, who kindly explained that they were very sorry that they had made me feel uncomfortable and that they would like join me. Clearly my lie and exit from their party had not gone over as well as I thought and now I was in the rather awkward position of having to tell them I would love their drunken and disorderly company even though at the moment I wanted nothing of the sort.
They then explained that after I had left them earlier, they had all began to speak of how they first met me, and of the things that I have done for them. I was a bit embarrassed to know that they were speaking of me in such a way; I'm unaccustomed to people saying good things about me behind my back and I told them as such. They then told me that this was why they came into see me. They didn't wish to speak behind my back, but rather they wished to share it with me. And share they did. It was a bit troublesome at first, listening to people talk about their feelings about you, but eventually, be it the wine or the company, I became to feel more relaxed and even contributed to their stories and laughter.
I am not sure that they meant it to be, but their company was a great gift to me. I have grown quite content with my loneliness, but sometimes even the most steadfast recluse needs a little shove towards social inclusivity. What was meant to be a night to wallow in my own solitude became the night that I discovered my family. Family isn't the people that you are born to or who raised you. The people who are there for them when you need them, even if you didn't know that you needed them, are your true family.
So this and every Yule Season, think about the folks who may be alone. Invite them to your gatherings. If they decline, that's alright, but at least they had a choice. Check in on them if they chose to stay home. Bring them a plate of food and a bottle of something. Spend some time with them, even if it's a bit uncomfortable at first. If they don't warm up to you, don't overstay your welcome, but at least make an attempt to be there for those who might wish to enjoy the season but may not know how.
I did not mean for this to get so long winded, but I am glad that I have shared it with all of you. As much as I tend to talk a lot, my personal life is often times kept to myself. I am a much more private person than most would think, but if this little glimpse into my hearth and home helps others who struggle with loneliness, lack of blood relations or truly close friends, or any other form of melancholia this time of year then it was worth it.
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